![]() It's difficult for SGR’s to recognize themselves as ever being in a victim position – they’re the ones with the answers after all. Starting gate Rescuers (SGR) see themselves as “helpers” and “caretakers.” They need someone to rescue (victim) in order to feel vital and important. Although we each have a role with which we most identify, once we’re on the triangle, we automatically rotate through all the positions, going completely around the triangle, sometimes in a matter of minutes, or even seconds, many times every day. We first learn our starting gate position in our family of origin. This is the place from which we generally enter, or “get hooked” onto, the triangle. If we’re on the triangle we’re living as victims, plain and simple!Įach person has a primary or most familiar role – what I call their “starting gate” position. No matter where we may start out on the triangle, victim is where we end up, therefore no matter what role we’re in on the triangle, we’re in victimhood. Karpman placed these three roles on an inverted triangle and described them as being the three aspects, or faces of victim. The three roles on the victim triangle are Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim. And unless we transform them, we cannot move forward on our journey towards re-claiming emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. But until we become conscious of these dynamics, we cannot transform them. I believe that every dysfunctional interaction, in relationship with other or self, takes place on the victim triangle. This has the effect of reinforcing old, painful beliefs that keep us stuck in a limited version of reality. I’ve sometimes referred to the victim triangle as a “shame generator” because through it we unconsciously re-enact painful life themes that create shame. The more I teach and apply the victim triangle to relationship the deeper my appreciation grows for this simple, powerfully accurate instrument. Having discovered this resource some thirty years ago, it has become one of the more important tools in my personal and professional life. He calls it the “Drama Triangle,” I refer to it as the victim triangle. Victim-hood can be defined by the three positions beautifully outlined in a diagram developed by a well respected psychiatrist, and teacher of Transactional Analysis, named Stephen Karpman. This inevitably creates feelings of anger, fear, guilt or inadequacy and leaves us feeling betrayed, or taken advantage of by others. ![]() Whenever we refuse to take responsibility for ourselves, we are unconsciously choosing to react as victim. Whether we know it, or not, most of us react to life as victims.
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